The Locals

This is taken from a southern blogger. I have put in bold the things I have found very true. The rest I have no idea about...

"Southern Porch" by Thecanyon4me

There are certain things that only Southerners know or appreciate about the South. Northerners can try to understand, but mostly, they don't even know WHAT they don't understand. Some of these "jokes" go around and around the internet and back and forth through email. I don't know WHO wrote this...but I do know that it just had to be a real, true Southerner:

I LOVE Being Southern...

•Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

•Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

•Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

•Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

•Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

•All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

•Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

•Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

•Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

•No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

•A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

•Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

•Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

•Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

•Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

•Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

•When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

•Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

•And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

•To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals shots of Jack and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! [I couldn't resist changing this one. ;)]

•And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

•And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South but I got here as fast as I could."

•Bless your hearts, y'all have a blessed day.

-- Anonymous

Hahaha! The South.

This is Koan. He is 2. He and Michaela are very good friends.


Our good friends the Kuemichaels(Jackie, Brandon and Koan) wanted to go out to lunch with us yesterday. I decided that I would let them pick where and not complain about it. (they like IHOP) Joe thought it would be funny if they picked IHOP because I do not want to eat there, or at the waffle house, or at Mourice's BBQ, or fried chicken!!! So he gets them to pick IHOP. Brandon said "you need more than tofu to help that baby grow". I said "what hummus?".(Jackie recently called me and told me that she wanted to try tofu and hummus for the first time and asked me how to prepare and eat them. lol.)
We drive to the IHOP at 11:00 on a Sunday morning. There are no parking spots. People are parked in places that are not parking spots. I think people were waiting in their cars in the street to get in! Baptists must go to church kind of early.
Next to the IHOP is an Applebees, THEE Applebees with the sweet waiter and his sweet tea. There were no cars in the parking lot, so we had no choice but to eat at Applebees. The Kuemichaels learned 2 valuable lessons. 1. I have a history of getting what I want. 2. On a Sunday in the south everyone dresses up, big hats and all, goes to church, then goes out to eat. Going out to eat is an all day affair.
Yeasterday, I loved the south.

Purple Crayons Do Not Taste Like Blueberries

Click to enlarge picture.

Morgan's on My Bladder

Ouch!

32 Week checkup today. Everything is going well. I gained a pound and a half in the last two weeks. I have gained 25 pounds so far. 8 more weeks to go! That cloudy patch on the mirror is from Michaela wiping lotion all over it. I cleaned that today. She is so creative.

It's Days Like This

That I never get Michaela's hair to sit right! It's a bit unruly! Hope everyone is having a good morning!

It's Decided

The technical college here (Central Carolina Tech) has a good Associates Degree in Nursing. You can be paid for your clinicals and become an RN. I have been agonizing over the decision to go back to school. I am a bit uncertain about my ability to follow through and about our financial situation, which is very tight right now.
I applied for financial aid for the summer semester, which starts in May. I would have to start in May if I do not want to wait a year to get into the program. With our 2007 income, I thought I would not qualify for grants, but it turns out I do!
I will take 2 classes in the summer with my tuition paid and a little left over for books. Joe will rearrange his schedule to watch the kids.
In the fall, I will go full time and we will have to worry about childcare for 2 kids. They are already on a waiting list for the center here on base. This worries me a lot, but we will deal with it as it gets closer to August. We have enough going on right now.

Only a Parent would be so excited!

Michaela pooped in the potty today!!! We bought her two potties last month, one for upstairs and one for downstairs and the "Elmo's Potty time" DVD. (brought to you by the letter P and the number 2) She has been sitting on her potty for about a month now and she even has a potty dance she does. She can't say potty without shaking her hips! But she has never actually gone in the potty and we have not pushed the issue at all. We figure when she is ready, she will let us know.
So she was taking a bath tonight and she stood up and said "uh oh! poopy!" Joe and I both happened to be there and we asked her if she needed to poop in the potty. She agreed, then got scared and wanted back in the tub, then said "uh oh! poo poo!" again, so Joe told her not to poop in the tub, got her out and encouraged her while she used the potty!!!! That definitely does not mean she is potty trained, but she is probably ready to try it more frequently now! Awesome!

Would you like some chicken with your grease?

Last week Jeremy and Casey came to visit us. I had told them that they were allowed to bring Bojengles with them. Bojengles is a popular fried chicken chain down here and Joe was refusing to eat there. I actually wanted to try it, just to say I did. So they brought the fried chicken in boxes that you could see through because they were soaked through with grease. I have to admit, the breading was good! The biscuits, we dicided, were also deep fried. They were so gross! Later, we all felt very sick. What was I thinking? I hate fried chicken. I eat raw veggies, tofu and hummus.

This week Jeremy and Casey came to visit us again. This week, they brought Chipotle!!!!!!! How awesome is that? Chipotle!!!! Life is good! Like, "shut up!" good. :)

Morgan's in my Ribs!

Ouch

I took Michaela to the doctor today because I suspected her ear infection was not clearing up. It was not. She also has RSV. Very contagious, potentially serious, but not bad right now. She will be on antibiotics for 10 more days for her ear. Joe and I also have RSV, but it is very mild in adults. I am going to put her down for a nap soon, so I can take a nap. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It snowed here today. That is the second time this year! Nobody can believe it! The snow did not stick, there were just some flakes flying by in the wind. I must say, it is COLD here today! I mean that.